I was sitting in a class this past Sunday when we started talking about people who had overcome in spite of the hardships they faced, in spite of the culture around them, and in spite of the choices of others. It occurred to me that perhaps these people had overcome BECAUSE OF their hardships and because of the surrounding culture and because of the choices of others.
You’ll never hear any of the following complaints from someone at the top of their game:
- In spite of my hard work, I succeeded.
- In spite of my sacrifice, I fulfilled my dreams.
- In spite of my long hours, I rose to the top.
- In spite of tapping into my motivational reserves, I achieved.
- In spite of my winning attitude, I won.
- In spite of my willingness to put myself out there, I made victorious partnerships.
- In spite of my tireless dedication, I mastered my craft.
- In spite of my drive to get things done, I finished ahead.
- In spite of my vision, I outpaced my peers.
- In spite of my persistence, I pushed through.
- In spite of my passion, I attained the highest levels.
- In spite of my pursuit of excellence, I accomplished what others would not.
You’d never hear these complaints, because they don’t make sense. They’re contradictory. They cause us to feel a bit of cognitive dissonance. Our minds perform all kinds of mental gymnastics to make sense of these statements.
To make these statements make sense, we just need to swap out “in spite” and insert “because.”
- Because of my hard work, I succeeded.
- Because of my sacrifice, I fulfilled my dreams.
- Because of my long hours, I rose to the top.
You get the picture.
People who live strong stories, succeed “BECAUSE OF” and not “in spite of.” So, let’s dispatch with “in spite of” and its identical twin “despite.” They are passive. They lack motivational power. They weaken the causal effect between our efforts and our accomplishments. They give us wiggle room for excuses. Let’s just be done with them!
In fact, let’s take a step further. Let’s succeed BECAUSE OF our obstacles.
On his website, Richard Branson, the billionaire owner of the Virgin Group, said:
“[T]here are still many dyslexics out there, especially young people, who feel held back by their condition. I used my dyslexia to my advantage and learned to delegate those tasks I wasn’t so good it. This freed me up to look at the bigger picture, and is one of the main reasons I have been able to expand the Virgin brand into so many different areas.”
According to Branson, he succeeded because of his dyslexia. Because of his dyslexia, he learned to delegate and see the bigger picture. He used it to his advantage.
How can you use your obstacles to your advantage?
You can start by using the words “because of” and “I choose.” Follow “I choose” with something positive you want to happen in your life.
- Because of being passed up for a promotion, I choose to unleash my full potential.
- Because of going bankrupt, I choose to rise.
- Because of my team’s lack of focus, I choose to create a vision.
- Because of my negative relationship with one of my co-workers, I choose to forgive and reach out.
- Because of my lack of balance, I choose to set aside time for what’s important.
- Because of ineffective leadership, I choose to be strong.
There is power when you choose to live by the mantra “Because Of.” Your story gets stronger. You create new opportunities. You expand your influence. You solidify your relationships. You get to choose!
Live a Strong Story. The world needs it.